Ageing Parents

This weeks Saturday Guardian had an interview with Fiona Philips, (ex GMTV presenter).  She has a new book “Before I forget”, just out.   She talks about both her parents who suffered dementia.


This coincided with part of my holiday experience this year, hearing about ageing parents and how distressing it is for the children:   mourning for that person you were so intimately attached to who diminishes, in front of you.


My friends Joe and Josephine have read “Contented Dementia” by Oliver James, Joe’s mother has dementia.


Josephine tells me it’s important to listen to, and enter into, the reality of the person concerned.  


Well that makes sense to me.   If I’m confused, someone who enters into my confusion with me and talks to me from there, is far more likely to be a consolation to me than someone who talks over me, or about me as if I’m wallpaper.


That person believes me and is seeing the world from my perspective.

This entry was posted in Book, Counselling, Life coaching, Loss, Parents, Positive thinking, Self Help. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Ageing Parents

  1. Jenny says:

    Hi Susie your web is fab … didnt think my comments would be edifying enough to go on your blog. Think I read that book on dementia it was such a help to me with my mother. lol

  2. After my mother’s stroke I grieved over the loss of the strong, independent woman and became upset at dealing with the woman I no longer recognised at times. Visits vary tremendously. On a good day conversations are possible. Bad days are tearful.

  3. VirginiaLyle says:

    Hi Susie – Read your blog. I’ll be back.

  4. Thanks Jenny, nice to know that the book is worth it and that it was a help.

  5. @Andrew So I suppose it’s almost like getting to know a new person but in the body of someone you know. That is probably confusing for you as well as sad, and I can imagine being irritated too.

  6. Olivia Pethybridge says:

    I know exactly where you are coming from re dementia. My mother in law has senile dementia and reading the Contented Dementia book is a very good learning curve for people who want to know about dementia. Sometimes she rings us every two hours and we have exactly the same conversation every time. Having read the book, it is very helpful on how to respond. I do think that society is very quick to judge on people’s quality of life, but armed with the right tools of communication and the ability to move into that person’s life and communicate with them from their point of view, quality of life can be very rewarding. I have a profoundly disabled daughter and I find it very frustrating when people refer to “vegetables” etc. I don’t think it is up to us to qualify someone’s life. Many a person’s life, however, disabled, brings rewards and happiness from the tiniest achievement or experience. I’ll stop banging on, I’m sure you have the gist of what I’m getting at…..!!

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