I’ve been musing over the subject of loss after reading a review of “Making Toast: A Family Story”, a book written by Roger Rosenblatt after his daughter died leaving a young family. The very touching extract written up is full of delicate details of what happens among the family as the grandparents, father and children become a type of newly constructed family. In some sense in differing ways the new cohesion brought a diversion and a way of coping to them all.
Because that is all we can do: cope with what has happened. Nothing can be undone or mended. However in the loss something new can be constructed and often great things are gained.
Why do I find it so remarkable that human nature is able to find the good which can come from a great loss? Maybe this is what I like so much about what I do: I get a chance to glimpse at the wondrous side of human nature.
In other circumstances I’ve seen bonds created among friends that would not otherwise have been formed. I’ve seen healing brought between siblings, and understanding reached among the wider family unit. It seems deeper relationships can be formed between people left behind. It can become a time when individuals look at the value of the remaining relationships.
In this particular case “the good” was the additional and different family relationships that grew out of loss, the support it brought to each member in helping to bear the loss of a parent, daughter, and wife.
Making Toast: A family Story by Roger Rosenblatt, published by Gerald Duckworth & Co from the www.Guardian.co.uk/bookshop