Ending Relationships

 How do we end relationships?   Is it suddenly without warning?   Is it a decision taken by one person and the other has no chance of answering?   Is it by text, by email?    Is it a two sided agreement?

 

What we do in therapy is likely to be an exact replica of what we do in life.    Clients get an experience of this when they end therapy.    One of the guidelines I give at the outset of therapy is that when the client feels in any way like breaking or ending the commitment to therapy that is the time he comes and talks about his feelings.

 

It is so important.   But when that feeling of wanting to pull back is upon us, how much do we consider or remember that there are two in any relationship?     Communicating our difficulty, or desire to pull back, could help in the ending of this relationship.   In therapy this is where we can examine what is energising this desire to withdraw.   Either what sparked off this feeling, or what we are resisting and do not want to confront in ourselves.    We get a chance to examine our habits and impulses and decide whether we chose to do something or not.     

 

Yes it may be difficult.   It may be a lot more difficult in real life.   But how much would we benefit and benefit those around us?

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